Proverbs 24:26 states, “An honest answer is as pleasing as a kiss on the lips” and kids commonly hear, “Honesty is always the best policy.” Yet, is this really what we mean? Recently, I have been trying to raise my adolescent son to realize that he can’t say everything in his head and he needs a filter, as some things can be hurtful (i.e., “you were not invited to my birthday party because you bully other kids.”). Instead of always being honest, he should think about treating others the way he’d want to be treated.
When we think of “honesty,” we are usually considering what may be costly to one but helpful to others. Yet, when you hear “lie,” it is also usually considered something done in a selfish manner…in that one gains some advantage at the expense of someone else. This may not always be the case though – for a moment, please consider the tension between benevolence and honesty:
· Managers giving kind, supportive feedback…as well as critical, harsh development
· Doctors give negative news to patients…research shows inflation of the positivity of these prognoses
· “Thank grandma for that sweater and tell her how much you like it”…even though you know you will never dress your kid in it
St. Augustine, 1600 years ago, said, “Every lie is a sin.” Is it? This deception listed above can actually be helpful to other people.
Conversely, Proverbs 28:23, states, “Correct someone, and later they will thank you. That is much better than just saying something to be nice.”
(Source: Maurice Schweitzer)
Is pro-social lying (not deception or selfishness) ethical?
